NORTH MELBOURNE GRAND FINAL BREAKFAST - MELBOURNE - SATURDAY, 29 SEPTEMBER 2018

29 September 2018

*** CHECK AGAINST DELIVERY ***

I'd like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we meet, I pay my respects to elders past and present. 

And when you think about it, our game would not be what it is without the contribution of our first Australians. 

It's quite remarkable really, 80 of the listed players are Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, that's about 11 per cent of the competition. Not bad when you consider that Aboriginal people make up 3 per cent of our population, it's a great accomplishment. 

Good morning to all my fellow Collingwood supporters in the house, well done to those of you already getting into the celebrations early on. 

I'd also like to extend a good morning to all of the West Coast fans who are here. 

You're fresh off the bye from last weekend, I hope you enjoyed the public holiday yesterday, I hope you stick around for the new one starting Monday: the first ever Nathan Buckley Day. 

And good morning to all the other footy lovers who are hoping it's a good game and Collingwood lose. 

I'd like to say a big thank you to North Melbourne for having me back for my fifth breakfast and my third Liberal Prime Minister. 

To Gil McLachlan, congratulations on another great season. On a personal note, thank you for sorting out a babysitter for my wife Chloe and I today. 

I don't speak a lot of French, but she seems like a very nice lady. And the kids are rapt with the polo pony, Gil, thank you. 

To Scott and Jenny, welcome. And Scott, well done on your debut this morning. 

I know you're new to the game and you might not know all the rules but don't worry, they're going to change most of them by this time next year. 

Now this is a special day, it doesn't matter if you're a six year old who's just done your first year of Auskick or a ressies full forward preparing for your 18th annual footy trip, everyone wakes up on grand final morning a little bit nervous, a bit excited. 

My 8 year old daughter loves AFLW, she's already a much better footballer than her Dad and that's after two training runs. But I am proud to say - as Ben Buckley alluded to - I was involved, in a modest way, in Collingwood's famous 1990 premiership. 

Back then I was at university, working part-time at Victoria Park as a ground attendant, a blue coat, tunnel E of the Rush stand.  

For a Collingwood supporter, that was a great gig: penalty rates on the weekends, discount beers at the social club, sometimes I was close enough to hear Leigh Matthews unleash on Brian Taylor. 

And of course most of the time you just sat there, doing nothing, listening to people shouting abuse - a bit like parliament really.

Of course pies fans are a passionate bunch, so you had to soak up a fair bit of their encouragement.

And when I say soak up, I mean it literally - not for nothing did we wear raincoats

But of course just before the siren used to go at the end of the match, the job of the very important blue coat was to march out onto the ground, turn and face the crowd. In theory we would stop people from running on until the second siren had gone.

Each of us had about a five metre span to cover, mine was down at the Turner Street end.

I don't know why it was, but there always seemed to be a lot of large men, lots of tattoos and intimidating moustaches, there was a fair bit of motorbike leather too - and they always wanted to run through me. 

I remember there was one guy, he'd be 120 kilos at least, he liked to stand or balance on the fence and he would point at me and say:  “I’m coming right at you mate, right at you to get to the centre”.

And I’d yell at him: “No you’re not”.

Because if he ever jumped the fence, I was out of there.

Anyway, to Mad Dog and the boys, I hope you're going well and I hope you've forgotten who I am. 

But it is good about football isn't it. I should add that Victoria Park, amongst other things, is now home to the Collingwood Football Club Community Centre, which drives so many great programs like Magpies Nest, looking after people who are homeless, working with the salvos.

Collingwood's not unique in that, and indeed, AFL is not unique amongst football codes in this. There are so many great stories behind football clubs, so much that they do which isn't seen, and there'll be so many great stories out there of all the 44 players and for their fans who love football.

I think today we are all lucky to live in a country that has invented the greatest sport on earth.

Have a great grand final and go the pies.